I think there is way too much going on in bedrooms nowadays that has nothing to do with sleeping, sex, or intimacy. When you have a stirred up conversation or a fight and things are said that are hurtful, they are often said while in bed or in the bedroom. TV’s are blaring at night and eyes are glued to a TV series or game, or a movie, not in a neutral area but in the bedroom.
We fall asleep with the TV on or each person has cell phones or iPads in their hands before bed while in bed. Why are we looking at screens instead of looking at and talking to each other? Not only does looking at a screen before bedtime stimulate your brain and make it harder to fall asleep, (hear that parents?) but it takes us away from each other. We are loosing our our emotional connection to one another. What happened to laying with each other before bed and talking? I say bedrooms are for 3 things: Sleeping, Sex, and Intimacy.
When we use our scared space for experiences that pull us away from one another our relationship slowly unravels quietly behind the sound of humming technology. Bedrooms need to be shrines to our safe, quiet, calm, loving place that harbors us at night and holds us safely together. When couples frequently fight in a bedroom, negative vibes become attached to the bedroom. It becomes another place of tension or anxiety.
I always tell my couples: talk in the kitchen, go outside for a walk, sit on a deck or porch, or even go into a den.
Bedrooms are for sleeping and peace.
It’s one of the few places we have to escape in our lives and our homes to take refuge. Invest in high thread count sheets and nice pillows and look at each other.