What’s your currency? ®

All relationships are built on currency.
A shallow summation I know but true no less. You have something I want, I have something you want. Let’s do a trade. If I’m attractive and your not, you must offer something else, another currency I require. Your intellect, your sense of humor, the sexual experience you provide, or it even can be your wealth, and often but not enough, it’s love. The vibrations that are created when your together that oscillate a million times a minute that forge an explosion of joy or peace, or safety, or better, the feeling of being home in your heart. Love.

So it seems that the overall goal is to have a currency that is wanted and valued by all. Then you are the one who seems to always have people wanting to engage in your company. Everyone wants to trade with you.

Your currency can change when you change as a person. For example what you once valued becomes of little value. A young woman marries early in life, in retrospect to get out from under her parents for one reason or another. Later in life, that person who provided her the currency of freedom then disguised as love, is the same, yet she has changed. His currency is no longer valued by her. She seeks a new currency and now requires something different, he doesn’t know how to give it to her. Often this is when people come into therapy
(I am over simplifying but you get the idea). A man who is on his second marriage late in life, finds that he requires a more attractive woman to make him feel better about himself. His initial need for a solid marriage with a good woman who “attractive” and to have children have been completed. The weight his wife has put on or the spunk she once had is gone. Suddenly his currency has changed. Maybe hers has changed as well. She loved that he was not the kind of man who ran around and drank or partied. Now, he’s become a couch potato. That currency she valued as him being routine and predictable has become drone and boring. The TV being on all the time, his preoccupation with other things and his not feeding her emotional needs just doesn’t work for her now. Knowing what your currency is and knowing what you value and need throughout your life you is important. For your emotional well being as well as for the survival of your relationships. If your mindful of this you will know when your needs change, and hopefully be able to communicate this change. Whether it be with your partner, your job, your boss. business partner, a friend even your hair stylist.
What’s your currency ?


10 thoughts on “What’s your currency? ®”

  1. Forgive the pun, but this is right on the money! When I got married I wanted someone stable, secure, someone who would be a good provider and father to our children. Now, I yearn for passion and excitement. I am learning to provide that for myself in healthy ways and look forward to finding the courage to ask for what I want from my partner in a respectful and mutually fulfilling way.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love the pun. Good for you. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need. Men are actually very easy to approach as long as you follow my 2 golden rules:
      Keep the conversation no longer then 10 minutes ( worst thing a man wants to hear is ” honey can we talk”. They don’t go well with long emotionally process oriented conversations) and 2 offer him ideas on what he can do to resolve or fix the problem. Men are linear thinkers for the most part, we women like to process everything. They like solutions. I appreciate your insight and shouting out. Good luck 🙂


  2. Such a “user friendly” way of explaining how we relate. Thanks for a clear way to look at my own interactions.


  3. I wish I had realized this a while ago, before I got myself into all kinds of messes. Cleaning up work is still going on…..


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